It's absurd really to say that I have no time. Time is how we keep going, it's how we change days, it's how we look back to see that we've grown, changed, or stayed the same. Time is just flying by.
I never really believed that life got faster the older you got. Now I can't deny it at all. I can't seem to catch up, much less let my soul catch up. Where does time go. This is one year after the Virginia Tech shootings. Wasn't that just a few months ago? Five years in Iraq and Afghanistan. Has it really been that long September 11? Six months since the car accident. And he's still in therapy. Seven months since turning down a dream job. But I still know I made the right decision, eh.
For the second year in a row I resolved to write my grandparents - once a month. O wait, it's April and I haven't done it yet. What does that say about my personal resolve? 10 years, almost 11 years since I've seen some of them. Is that possible?
I know none of this really matters to anyone else. I just feel so frustrated about life and how hard it seems. I can't get a grip. Even with my faith an integrated part of my life, I can't see to catch up. I'm teaching a class about balancing life while mine seems to get more and more out of balance. How does that work?
And then I look at my brother who is really in the middle of a life that hasn't been going so well. And he answers the question of, "What do you want for your birthday?" with, "child like faith and peace in all hearts of mankind." Trust me, that's a huge statement from a guy who's going through a rough patch. And no, he's not kidding.
Someday, I hope to figure out how to make it all make sense. Maybe I just need to follow my brother's other piece of wisdom: "God is the creator of good. Praise his name!"
Peace of Christ be with you.
